I Choose Love

Archive for the ‘My Inspirational Thoughts’ Category

Appreciate Yourself

In My Inspirational Thoughts on November 10, 2015 at 5:18 pm

TulipsWhen was the last time you acknowledged and appreciated yourself?

That’s right: YOU. Not your spouse, not your children, not your boss, co-workers or friends. Just YOU

Seriously, think about it!

And if it’s been too long since your last pat on the back, then I want you to take the time right now to acknowledge and appreciate yourself for everything you’ve accomplished today, throughout the year, and in life

Ask yourself: How many times have you succeeded in the past month? The past year? The past 10 years? Are you able to recall your successes as easily as your failures and missteps?

This is not a selfish or egotistical act in the least. By taking the time to stop and appreciate who you are and what you have achieved—and perhaps learned through a few mistakes, stumbles and losses—you actually can enhance everything about you!

Self-acknowledgment and appreciation are what give you the insights and awareness to move forward toward higher goals and accomplishments.

In working with top leaders and thought philosophers of our time, I will tell you that among their secrets of success is a regular practice of acknowledging and appreciating what they have.It can offer an oracle into the future because it not only tells you where you are but it also helps clarify where you want to go in life. Whatever that might be. The road then becomes easier to navigate—easier to see from the distance and walk confidently step by step.

Don’t forget to think about both big and little accomplishments. Many people under-appreciate the minor things they do successfully every day . And yet they can recall in detail all the times they have failed or made mistakes. That’s because the brain remembers events more easily when they are accompanied by strong emotions.

For example, you might vividly recall a graduation, losing 10 pounds, having a child, winning an award, or landing a highly sought after position.

But see if you can identify just as many minor, more subtle successes.

 

 

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Who You Are Makes a Difference

In My Inspirational Thoughts on September 30, 2012 at 10:37 pm

Each time you define yourself by the self-limiting ideas that dictate where you can or cannot go, whom you can or cannot participate with and what you are allowed to do and not do, you narrow your life choices.

Cultures that limit the full expression and creativity of their people based on traditional beliefs have narrow and inflexible attitudes, these cultures are maintained at the sacrifice of their members. Talents, gifts and ideas are sacrificed because of inflexibility and prejudice but you break through that each time you affirm your right to the life you say you want.

Knowing you have the right to joy, happiness, great health and creative existence is fundamental to life.

You need noone’s approval, nor do you need reasons to make the choices that promise you happiness, stability and joy!

Stepping away from the prescribed dictates of family, culture or religion may be painful at first, but eventually your life becomes defined by the way you live, love and communicate, and the choices you make for your life.

Know you are always part of a greater whole and that who you are makes a difference!

Take a deep breath as you affirm your Being:)

Alyonka

The Laws of Love and the Laws of Life

In My Inspirational Thoughts on November 17, 2011 at 11:39 pm

When we make deposits of Unconditional Love, when we live the primary laws of LOVE, we encourage others to live the primary laws of LIFE. In other words, when we truly love others without condition, without strings, WE HELP THEM feel secure and safe and validated and affirmed in their Essential Worth, Identity and Integrity. The natural growth process is encouraged. We make it easier for them to live the laws of life – cooperation, contribution, self-discipline, integrity – and to discover and live true to the highest and best WITHIN them. We give them freedom to act on their own inner imperatives rather than react to our conditions and limitations. This doesn’t mean we become permissive or soft.  We counsel, we set limits or consequences – but we love, regardless!

When we attach strings and conditions to that gift, we actually encourage others to VIOLATE the primary LAWS OF LIFE. We put them in a reactive, defensive position where they feel they have to prove “I matter as a person, independent of you.’

In reality they are NOT independent, they are co-dependent. They become reactive, almost enemy-centered, more concerned about defending their “rights” and producing evidence of their individuality instead of listening and honoring their own inner imperatives.

Rebellion is a knot of the heart, not of the mind.

Thus, prizing and loving and being prized or loved is experienced as very growth enhancing. A person who is loved appreciatively, NOT possessively, blooms and develops HIS OWN UNIQUE SELF. The person who loves nonposessively is himself enriched. I am, personally, not proud of what seems to be a fact – when I am not prized and appreciated, I not only feel very much diminished, but my behavior is very much affected by my feelings. When I am prized, I blossom and expand, I am an interesting individual. When I feel unconditional love, I know that nobody is trying to get me to “shape up”. Anyone who attempts to shape up the other person outweighs the value of that person as independent individual with their own inner uniqueness.

Alyonka

People Are just as Wonderful as Sunsets

In My Inspirational Thoughts on November 4, 2011 at 9:25 pm

I feel enriched when I can truly prize or care for or love another person and when I can let that feeling flow out to that person. I used to fear being trapped by letting my feelings show, I used to think: “If I care for him, he can control me.” I think I have moved a long way toward being less fearful in this respect. Positive feelings are NOT dangerous either to give or receive.

Because of having less fear of giving and receiving positive feelings, I have become more able to appreciate people. I have come to believe that this ability is rather rare; so often we love people to control them rather than loving them because we appreciate them. One of the most satisfying feelings I know – and also one of the most growth promoting experiences for the other person – comes from my appreciating this individual in the same way that I appreciate a Sunset. People are just as wonderful as sunsets if I can let them be. In fact, the reason we can truly appreciate a sunset is that we cannot control it. When I look at a sunset as I did the other evening, I didn’t find myself saying, “Soften the orange a little on the right hand corner, and put a bit more purple along the base, and use a little more pink in the cloud color.” I don’t do that. I don’t try to control a sunset. I watch it with awe as it unfolds.

Prizing and loving and being prized and loved is experienced as very growth enhancing. A person who is loved appreciatively, not possessively, blooms and develops his own unique self. The person who loves non-possessively is himself enriched.

Alyonka

Authentic Self and Observant Surrender

In My Inspirational Thoughts on November 4, 2011 at 8:10 pm

I’m often feeling pulled between being extremely proactive with trying to figure out and find my calling and allowing myself the space to let this calling naturally occur. When I push myself to ‘figure things out’ I criticize myself and doubt my purposes, I start feeling overwhelmed and anxious and then shut down but when I err on the passive side and opt to let things come organically I feel like I’m not being proactive enough. I’m perpetuating my own purgatory and unclear as to what the best steps are. I know I have so much to offer and so much to accomplish but am having trouble manifesting it, as if something is blocking me from within. I am not letting myself get close to what I am experiencing and express freely what I’m feeling towards immediate situations, nor do I act correctly on the intentions and values I have, thus I’m often being perceived for who I am not and attract into my life circumstances I didn’t wish for.

Practicing the middle way between being proactive and allowing myself the space to let things happen organically from the place of Authentic Self and Observant Surrender became easier when I started exercising Self-Acceptance and Self-Love, and moving through my life with high intentions and low attachments. So, I started co-creating things in my life that are in alignment with my own values and goals, but I would not let myself feeling attached to them. And my experience was – my sense of worth, success or happiness was nor longer tied to whether or not those things happen, I’m now becoming open to things manifesting in different forms than I may have expected. I stopped blaming, criticizing and judging myself.                            

I realized that I let things happen naturally while being attuned to my intuition, direct knowing and the signs I am getting from the Universe. I am taking aligned action steps toward accomplishing my goals and simply observing that the form I am taking steps towards are the best container for the essence I am seeking to express. One of my most favorite prayers to the Universe became, “Please support me in knowing what my next step is and recognizing it when you put it in front of me. And bless me with remembering that everything is happening in perfect divine timing.” I use the time when nothing is happening to manifest the right essence and align myself with the steps I need to take to make this happen, keeping in mind all the good things that would make me happy in my future.

I learned that often the times, when nothing much is happening in the outside world, are the most fertile for the development of my internal spirit and really is the secrete moments of aligning the essence of who I am with the bigger purpose of why I am here.

Alyonka

The Changeless Core of You – Values vs. Principles

In My Inspirational Thoughts on November 1, 2011 at 8:06 am

In our personal lives, if we do not develop our self-awareness and become responsible for our creations, we empower other people and circumstances to shape much of our lives by default. We live through scripts handed to us by family, associates, other people agendas, the pressures of circumstance-scripts from our early years, our training, our conditioning.

These scripts come from people, not principles. And they rise out of our deep vulnerabilities, our deep dependency on others and our needs for acceptance and love, for belonging, for a sense of importance and worth, for a feeling that we matter.

Whether we are aware of it or not, whether we are in control of it or not, there is a first creation to every part of our lives. We are either the second creation of our own design, or we are the second creation of other people’s agendas, of circumstances, or of past habits.

In developing our own self-awareness many of us discover ineffective scripts, deeply embedded habits, that are totally unworthy of us, totally incongruent with the things we really value in life. We don’t have to live with those scripts. We can change that.

People can’t live with change if there is not a changeless core inside them. The key to the ability to change is a changeless sense of WHO YOU ARE, your principles, what you are about and what you value. We don’t need to figure out everything else in life, to stereotype and categorize everything and everybody in order to accommodate reality.

That changeless core of you, the what makes you – YOU, YOUR PRINCIPLES are self-evident, it’s almost as if these principles or natural laws are part of the human condition, part of human consciousness. They exist in all of us, regardless of our social conditioning and loyalty to them, even though they might be submerged by such conditions or disloyalty.

Principles:

– Fairness out of which our concept of Equity and Justice is developed.

– Integrity and Honesty, they create the foundation of Trust, which is essential for long term personal and inter-personal growth.

– Human Dignity, the basic concept in the United States Declaration of Independence.

– Service, or the idea of making a contribution.

– Quality or Excellence.

– Potential, the idea that we are embryonic and can grow and develop and release more and more potential, develop more and more talents.

– Growth, the process of releasing potential and developing talents, with the accompanying need for principles such asPatience, Nurturance, and Encouragement.

Principles are not Practices. A Practice is a specific action. A Practice that works in one circumstances will not necessarily work in another. Principles are deep, fundamental Truths that have universal application. They apply to individuals, to relationships, marriages, families, private and public organizations of every kind. When these truths become habits, they empower people to create a wide variety of practices to deal with different situations.

Principles are not Values. A gang of thieves can share values. Principles are Territory, Values are Maps. When we value correct principles, we have Truth – a knowledge of things as they are.

Principles are Guidelines for Human Conduct that are proven to have enduring, permanent value.

Alyonka

How To Be Truthful To Yourself And Avoid Conflicts

In My Inspirational Thoughts on January 22, 2011 at 6:02 pm
When in a relationship, we are trying to hold things together at all cost and it’s preventing our personal growth, we are not sticking to the truth of who we are. We walk a thin line between creating what we want, making it be and accepting the reality of what is. Alot of times our mind can’t process that these two things can co-exist simultaneously, even though they sound very different, but inside of a relationship this is what people are constantly doing by saying: “here is what I want, here is what I’d like, here is what I’d like to create”, and then they show up in front of each other and they are trying to create a moment they want but they are also looking at an aspect of how this person really is and ask themselves a question: “can I deal with that and is this what I want?” Both of those things happen at the same time.  And this is a conflict, and you are unconscious if you are avoiding this conflict at all costs which means you are just not experiencing the truth. WORLD IS A COMPETITIVE PLACE WHERE PEOPLE HAVE CONFLICTING INTERESTS. Addressing conflicts in a relationship is all part of your personal transformation. You can grow together or you can grow apart, but it’s still a part of your personal transformation. You will love who you are after. You will love how you will be able to create, that you’ll have an experience and consciousness and then you’ll love the relationship you are in and it’s all possible because of addressing the conflicts through staying truthful to yourselves. For example, if there is something that is bothering you, you have to address it, remember, stay truthful to yourself. Most of us at some point, when we are through dealing with conflicts, look back and go “wow, it was amazing!”. What’s very useful is to realize as much as possible, when you are in it, that the journey is “Deeps and Mountains” and I truly believe, you don’t get to the next spot without getting through deeps. Its not that the life has to be all miserable and unhappy but its just the nature of life on this planet and human form, its just all part of it.
Alyonka

Emotionally Align Yourself With Your Intentions

In My Inspirational Thoughts on January 22, 2011 at 6:00 pm
Creating your intentions and emotionally aligning your intentions is REALLY living what you want to happen and feeling it, so it is like a dream. Experience what you want to be happening like a day dream and feel the Universe responding. I believe how everything what’s happening for us in life is we are really creating for ourselves. You have to watch what you are creating, if you are creating a nightmare or if you are creating a dream.For example, if you want to have an amazing new relationship and you know that you want to laugh alot and you know that you want to be physically active in this new relationship and you know that you want to feel great and passionate in this relationship, and that you want this relationship to be on fire and if you want to have really deep, soulful, spiritual connection with that someone and share really rich conversations that help you both explore yourselves  – you need to sit with your thoughts and dram up that experience you want if you are creating it right now! Create practice time. Sit with the journal and write down this experience and work up all emotions as if its happening right now. Feel your heart and mind open, feel your energy field expanding. You are creating a state for yourself, and you can’t help but go out into the world in that state and start to attract to yourself what you have created. The universe knows to only respond to your energy field. Whatever you put out there is what you get back. So, if you can create that state of love and openness and enthusiasm and focus and desire, the Universe only knows to respond to that, its just trying to match you.Very important – people around you should be on the same energy level as you are creating. Pay attention to the people who you surround yourself with, what is their energy level like, this way you can learn alot about yourself by who you spend most of the time around and who you are comfortable around. You match your friends on some level. Some of us tend to be attracting wounded birds and these people are sending the signals to the Universe that they don’t want higher experiences. Part of creating the inner atmosphere and the outer energy is a mental gratitude and it can walk you up through a ladder! Go on a rampage of appreciation, appreciate everything and before you know it, your heart will start to expand and your mind won’t hold on to suffering when it’s really grabbing to the gratefulness and appreciation. You’ll create your day with your mind open, your focus open, stay aligned spiritually with your guide within, create your day with laughter!
Alyonka

Never Misinterpret Your Feelings

In My Inspirational Thoughts on January 22, 2011 at 5:59 pm
Generally our feelings are very simple, they are very pure – we are angry or sad or we are happy. But our mind goes “I feel abandoned or I feel hopeless” – it wouldn’t even be close to a feeling, it wouldn’t even be a feeling. This brings out the idea of different levels of honestly or being out of touch from our feelings. “I feel like its gonna be difficult” vs “I feel insecure right now” or “I feel afraid”. If we stay grounded to our feelings, we will always know when we are on track or when we are off track. Being true to our feelings, being attached to them will bring us to a different place in a way our mind won’t.
Say, If you pay attention to how you really feel, you’ll notice – I’m really sad again, I’m really frustrated again, I’m really anxious again and you will know what direction you need to move and its all in the simplicity of your feelings.
We can use our feelings to create what we want in our life by taking responsibility for them and learn and grow from them. And it’s a gift of deliberate creation, it’s all about being clear about your intentions and setting your intentions like an energy field that projects out into the world what you want, based on your feelings.
Stay connected to your feelings and use your feelings as a tool to create what you want in your life.
Alyonka

Don’t Allow Your Ego Control You In Conflict Situations

In My Inspirational Thoughts on January 22, 2011 at 5:57 pm
I believe that in a lot of relationships whether there is a woman or a man, people get attached to the idea who is right and every time there is some kind of tension, its about defending their rightness. And there is no bridge that you can ever find between the two of you if you hold on to the idea of rightness. The whole idea of rightness is your ego that is up and ready to fight.  And it is not you, it is this little scrappy survivor, that’s what the ego is and it wants to defend you, your mind and your thinking. Sometimes letting go of the ego feels like letting go of yourself, but who you are can not be threatened at this level if you can recognize that thought. If you can hear this thought in a middle of it, it is not you, IT’S YOUR EGO! Who you are as a spiritual being can not be threatened. So, the idea I’m trying to get you to is when you hold on to this rightness, all you are defending is your ego. The relationship and the connection does not thrive here. If I were to stick to the ego of me, I could get to this whole new place where its absolutely my right to defend what I do and what I say, I’m an “independent woman and I’m not doing anything wrong here”. And the truth is, your partner is feeling vulnerable, he is feeling threatened, he is feeling fear and its not gonna go away with your arguments.
The opposite of defending ego is surrendering to what is and there is so much space in this idea of surrendering to what is. It’s the opposite of arguing with what’s going on. What is, is how you feel about something and how I feel about something, it is the purest state that there is and arguing about how you feel is how we get ourselves dug a big deep hole that feels like misery, that feels like distance. Surrendering to what is, is a life time practice. The whole idea of surrendering in any moment is opening your heart, taking a deep breath and just truly recognizing what is going on right now – you are hurt, you are angry, I am hurt, I am angry or whatever it is and just being with it, without trying to force your way through it, without trying to blame someone.  I feel like you can almost fall through it to a new place but you’ll never get there pushing against it, by trying to avoid it. It’s like letting go, letting yourself fall, surrendering yourself to the truth of what is. Your grief, your anger, your disappointment, your fear – just be with it, on the other side of it is something else.

When you are mature enough, centered enough to say to someone without blame and without being a victim, I’m having a really tough time and this is how it makes me feel, and you don’t say anything else, you don’t ask them to do anything, you don’t tell them to do something and you don’t demand that you receive something, it’s amazing how ultimately people respond to that if you leave that space for them, it’s like an invitation, you say: “yes, you choose what you are going to do with that, and I choose to believe that the world is a good place”. And if you do that, if you leave space for another human being to choose what they want to do with that, especially when they love you and want to be in a relationship with you, you’ll get a nice response almost 98% of the time.

Surrendering is the opposite of attack, it is the opposite of blame, it is even the opposite of looking and trying to solve it, it’s just the purest statement of what is.

Alyonka